What were we thinking! promote confidence and reduce distress in parents with a first baby

Parent stories and expert advice

Don't cry over spilt milk

Don't cry over spilt milk

I never understood the expression "don't cry over spilt milk" until now. I  accidentally left expressed frozen milk bars on the bench and they defrosted. I was furious with myself and the fact I couldn't re-freeze breast milk. I found myself seeking comfort through google.

Time for me

Time for me

Ari is now 3 months old and we are all doing well. I love watching my partner Dimitri play with Ari, the squeals of laughter from the two of them touches my heart. I use their play time together to catch up on some “me time” by either sitting with my feet up and my favourite book or just having a cup of tea. I love this time to myself and I feel that it regenerates my energy levels.

Being a mum & still being me

Being a mum & still being me

You say hello to a new future when you become a mum, but as Poppy learns, that doesn't mean saying goodbye entirely to  the 'you' of the past ...

Sleep deprivation

Sleep deprivation

I cannot believe how bad the sleep deprivation has been. L is now 3 months, and he’s sleeping way better than he used to, but it’s still not easy. With apologies to the LGBT movement, I just keep thinking: “it gets better.” Or, I look at my own mum, and realize it must get better at some point …

Ouch!

Ouch!

Ari had his 2 month birthday including his health check at our Maternal and Child Health Centre and had his first immunisations a couple of weeks ago. Dimitri was great and held Ari for the needles as I was so nervous I was almost crying.

Sometimes it's just about having fun

Sometimes it's just about having fun

Dribble, dribble and more dribble. Sam has found his hands and spends a lot of the day sucking on his fists and spreading the dribble everywhere. He delights in blowing bubbles and has started trying to talk to me when he is having a cuddle. It is all a lot of fun and he is starting to hit his toys that hang above him.

Unsettled baby

Unsettled baby

The day of L's 4-week check-up, a few things suddenly came into focus for me. I had been feeling quite smug -- if still dazed from lack of sleep -- but L was feeding like a champion and putting on weight, and was generally an easy baby.

New friends

New friends

I can’t believe how much of the day I spend feeding, changing and settling baby Ari, if anyone had told me I don’t think I would have believed them. I thought babies slept most of the time and never imagined it was such a full time (day and night) work.

Some of the things we used to do

Some of the things we used to do

Having some more predictability during the day means I can get more rest and even eat lunch. My Mum visits a few times a week and because Sam can go to sleep without needing a feed I can leave him with her.

Both of us gaining confidence

Both of us gaining confidence

The last few days I feel that all I have done is breastfeed, change and cuddle, the nurse was right about the crying. Ari has put on weight and our nurse said that sometimes during a growth spurt babies feed a lot so that’s what I am putting it down to.

Expectations as our bump becomes a baby

Expectations as our bump becomes a baby

Finding out a little one is 'on the way' can be exciting and daunting, all at the same time ...  

A new reality

A new reality

I had my first "what were we thinking" moment in the third week. Well, I had my first doubts the week before L was born, when I was feeling smugly prepared for the birth (we took some great childbirth ed classes, 4 sessions spread over a month, which I would recommend for retention; and hired a wonderful doula) but then I realized that I was much less prepared for a newborn!