What were we thinking! promote confidence and reduce distress in parents with a first baby

My journey to motherhood

By Simone

My journey to motherhood

My journey to motherhood began about 3 years ago. Before then, I didn't really think I wanted children. I was at the peak of my career, working 60 hour weeks including weekends, and enjoyed running marathons, keeping a busy social life and overseas travelling.  

Simply put, I thought to myself, "I don't have time for children".

I then lost my grandad, a true gentleman, who was a role model in my life after losing my Dad. I had spent my childhood at my grandparents farm, every school holidays running free in the fresh country air – fishing, floating down the river on tyres, riding horses, driving tractors, milking cows, building bonfires (and toasting marshmallows).

Even though my grandad was sick for some time, it still came as a shock. He shared some of his fondest memories with me just weeks before he died; pushing my sister and I in our prams when we were babies, watching us in a blow-up pool as we splashed and squealed.

It was around then that I started thinking about the experiences in my life so far, and if I would reflect on them as happily at 90 years of age.

I reflected on my wonderful relationship with my identical twin sister and my amazing mum – how incredibly close we all are and how precious our bond is, even when we are living in different countries. I started to imagine how amazing it would be to have the same relationship my mum and I have, but with my own children, children who love each other like my sister and I.

My fiancé Brendon had always wanted children and I was still sitting on the fence for a long time until this moment. So with my mother working as a fertility specialist we went and had a few routine tests (egg and spermicide count) and all seemed okay. Given Brendon and I were 41 and 37 respectively, we thought we may need IVF to conceive naturally. I had also been on the contraceptive pill for over 20 years so didn't know how my body would respond once off it.

About five months later we were holding hands, jumping up and down in the bathroom celebrating after seeing our pregnancy test (three, in fact) show that special extra line! I could say the rest is history, but it really was the beginning of an incredible journey and one that I am still blown away by now as I write about my journey …

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